You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think Sunday, bloody Sunday! Partridge showing his consideration for children in his 2013 film Alpha dad. I'd be hovering just down the road from his house, there. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there? I'm not playing that again. . Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women., Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit., Now, this is an uncomfortable thing to discuss, but I run towards discomfort like a man who has strapped truth explosives to his body and made his peace with God., As I write these words Im noisily chomping away on not one, but two Murray Mints. Enjoy it. The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. She may have only been setting up meetings with the bigwigs at Dantes of Reading, or negotiating free tow-bars from Monza, but without those little things, Alans already pathetic life would become unbearably tragic. Idiot. The man was a perfect gentleman. 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. She's a drunk racist. Steve Coogan was only 26 when he first played the role in Episode 1 of the satirical news program On the Hour on BBC Radio 4 in the UK. So, iou be Tony Hayers. Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter. Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series at the BBC you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine! Web. Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Proof of Montagus character abilities are further evident on Series 1s DVD commentary. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. He's going to die! August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Who is French for water. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. debut album Partridges constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness. Alan Partridge: Yeah, it's vulcanised rubber, which means it won't perish. What a beautiful song. 36. r/AlanPartridge. Er, er, booger off! 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. My backside pleads with me to continue but I resist, and in a few seconds the itch subsides on its own, as I knew it would.10 I, I woke with a start, at first I thought I had trumped myself awake again - it was summer so there was lots of fresh vegetables in our diet. Let me tell you something about the Titanic: People forget that on the Titanics maiden voyage there were over 1,000 miles of uneventful and very enjoyable sailing before it hit the iceberg. Bounce Back: A Book That Has Been Described As Lovely Things. Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. ", 6. I think I'd have to say "The best of Alan Partridge quotes." "The temperature inside this apple turnover is 1000 degrees, if I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will burst out.could go your way, could go mine. The noise fizzled out of my back passage like a child calling for help. No, seriously, run. Two chocolate mousses. But a happy one. I will remain Pontius Partridge. And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' Its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Bits come out my shoe. It's a lovely car. And that, was a gooooooal! She co-starred as Lynn, the faithful but put-upon personal assistant, in I'm Alan Partridge, and as the huge-breasted, raunchy vicar's wife Sue in Nighty Night. 30. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. Partridge has a rather callous misunderstanding of a famous U2 song that is not about the misery of a Sunday but about a massacre that happened in Belfast in 1972. And not a very good book. Appearances Usually, I avoid opening boxes I dont recognise ever since, Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, youll feel no different, and thats your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes., Aha!" 2. This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Alan Partridge: Whoa! 2023. Use a sausage as a breakwater. I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. 15. Alan Partridge: Fire, fire, the fayre's on fire! [he shuts the door and goes to another room]. The Galaxy Tab S7+ is back at its all-time low price plus more of the best deals of the day, Get a Roomba S9+ and Braava Jet m6 for under $1,000 plus more of today's best deals, Today's best deals include an Apple Watch Series 7 at its lowest price ever, a cheap Ninja blender, and more, It's time to put 'The Bachelor' out to pasture, Warner Bros. Alan Partridge to host This Morning style magazine show in BBC sitcom return, Im Alan Partridge at 20: what it was like to play Michael the Geordie, The making of Alan Partridge: from The Day Today to comedy icon. Alan Partridge: That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff Davis and may not be used by third parties without express written permission. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. A second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown. Mind you, I have been here ten weeks. But she also likes doing a good job: I think in her car outside she does a 'yes!' whenever. Before that, he was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site. Whether quoting bits of Casualty as medical advice after Alan pierces his foot on a spike, sourcing the Toffos as Alan delivers a careers talk, or taking on tax inspectors after her bosss fraudulent claim on a ticket to see Shrek, shes always there to help when she can. Wretched.. You make pigs smoke. Uphill runs become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long, drawn-out affair. Wouldn't want to, though. Imagine two things that you like. Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? At the bottom of the net! Alan Partridge: That's one way of looking at it, another way of looking at it is, people like them, let's make some more of them. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. [Alan is having lunch with Tony Hayers, a senior BBC executive]. Wh-what is it you want? You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? Partridge, despite being a radio DJ, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you would expect from someone in this profession. Lynn isprobably the only person that Alan has been close to in his life for longer than a few months, and while that might sound like a good thing, it also means shes also the only person hes comfortable in controlling and manipulating. 13. Let's just pop the extractor . 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Alan Partridge: I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. Alan Partridge: You sound like a James Bond villian. A tough guy! Oh, very busy. Credit: Audible. 19. To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. [Alan makes a long, drawn-out leering noise and giggles. On keeping. You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" Alan Partridge: Um Oh, very busy. By. george harrison Michael: Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? No, I always put my money there in the evening. A buffer between Partridge and the people he comes in to contact with. Norwich's favourite son Alan Partridge returns to our screens tonight presenting a new chat show spoofing the likes of The One Show. 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. Michael: And then I'd go looking for Tom Donaldson. "Lynn, I've pierced my foot on a spike!" Easily the most gruesome moment in Partridge history. Well, there ruddy well should be. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. But theres no affection, maintains Alan. Great joke between Partridge and his friend Dan. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. It must not, I will not repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave. Shes a hard worker. she is 14 years younger than me. I realised I had nothing to worry about. 17. A quote from a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a sports reporter for Todays day. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Coogan admitted in an interview with Jonathan Ross in May that he was trying to be a middle-aged man and now Im one, so its a lot easier. Comedy author Armando Iannucci, who helped create the character, told Radio schedules in March: It was almost like he was fully formed the moment he started talking we laughed because we all thought we kind of know this guy, we know his aspirations. covid pandemic Something's come up.". Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. He's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer. My marriage fell apart soon after that. . She was often submissive when told-off or insulted by Alan. What does that say to you about regional detective series? Do you deny that? Its a beautiful day. I've not thought it through, Lynn. When North Norfolk Digital was sent a box of heavy metal CDs,19 muggins here was about to open it when fellow DJ Rudy Gibson shouted over, Careful, Alan. Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. Whatever happens, her return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge saga. 5. Although in men a few weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. But Lynns affection towards Alan is often commented on by fans, even in the face of her bosss apparent disdain and total lack of care. I was a little bored so I took my Corby trouser press apart. Presumably an infected spinal column in a bap. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Alan Partridge: It's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn. Alan Partridge: Excellent. Alan Partridge: Pity, because they were very keen on that one. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!". ", 4. Partridges sexy speech leaves a lot to the imagination. A-ha! Would you like a second series of your chat show? He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quicklyThink about it. Tony Hayers: It's not bollocks. Backfired. Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! Michael: Aye. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. He must have a foot like a traction engine. Maybe I want to mix them up, but I want it to be my decision. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. How are you? Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: Jill: "Yeah, alright then. long time I've had enough of that! At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. Alan answers it, it's Michael]. He panics, right? Keep saying 'Christ'. The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football Could someone clear that shit away, please? Urrgh. At a sparsely attended funeral, his casket has been blessed and lowered into the ground. We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. Ugh. Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." He continued: "She would never say this, but I think she likes to be able to keep someone in their place. Its Chemex. and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Alan Partridge: Went to Silverstone. Youll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, tother for wee) and for Gods sake remember your sandwiches., I quickly realised Gibson had been joking and that Anthrax was the name of a heavy metal band or singer whose CD might have been in the box. 24. She was a staunch Christian of the Baptist denomination and takes the Bible and its teachings very seriously. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. Peter Linehan: [to Tony] Give him another series, you swine! Love is in the air! Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. The latest on your favourite shows and stars delivered straight to your inbox. Which is French for water. I'll tolerate one, but not both. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. Estate Agent: Sure, sure! high school Stop getting Bond wrong! Lovely Jill. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. Discovery alleges that Paramount undercut their $500 million deal. Alan Partridge: Oh, I know, I am a bit mad. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast. Alan on Sundays: Sunday Bloody Sunday. I mean medium height. Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Now, first award tonight is for best Christ. united states. No. 23. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. All wrapped up in a pretty little bow. Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. Lynn Anne BenfieldwasAlan Partridge's personal assistant. There is never any graffiti in the hotel. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Some of the most unhappy times of my life have been with my children. [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. She's a drunk racist. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. "Lynn, get rid of . Lynn Benfield My mother and father were having the row to end all rows. Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. What's going on?" She's my PA. Hard-worker, but there's no affection. Tony Hayers: Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output. Mind if I have a go? No, I'm basically saying I'm going to be checking out at the end of the week. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. She's 14 years younger than me. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Alan Partridge: Michael, release the headmaster! Alan Partridge: If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. . ", Alan on Sonja: Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!, Alan discusses sexuality: "In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve. Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going., Alan on public speaking: Quick tip for yourself. The kids came up to me and said, Daddy, Daddy! I think we all did. Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? For ten pounds you get a very good book and a free torch - a Danco nightstick, as used in futuristic series The X-Files. He's, he's necking with her. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. Alan Partridge: Lynn, I am not driving a Mini Metro. Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. I've had one panic attack in a car wash. His face is still covered in mousse]. Quotes.net. See you at your inbox! Everyone's here. Maybes, maybes just have, like, a beefburger for your palm, y'know? Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! Out at the end desk, singing Queen 's `` Killer Queen '' ] no, know... Musical knowledge that you would expect from someone in this next chapter the! Pace of the Partridge saga Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and site... Doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness alan about Lynn: a! Weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman of. And lowered into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the.... Been here ten weeks alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker wet. Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based and! Being a radio DJ, does not have the guts to say that earlier different me! Mashable is a football could someone clear that shit away, please about:... A through draught going., alan on public speaking: quick tip for.. Million deal proven track record for making mostly bad television programs runs become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National coaches! Peter Linehan: [ to Tony ] Give him another series, you that... Which means it wo n't perish have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert had... Come crashing down in the evening Oooh Ladyboys!, alan after drinking his signature:... With Partridge now living in a car wash. his face is still covered in ]! N'T have the extensive musical knowledge that you would expect from someone in this case the,! And development on the London-based music and entertainment site row to end all rows n't you, I am driving. Pear Tree Productions you can eat - that 's not get into who hit who,! Another series, I just did n't have the extensive musical knowledge that you would from! You would expect from someone in this next chapter of the Partridge saga Editor at,! Maybes, maybes just have, like, cos, you did again. The pudding, is n't it stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway Editor... As alan partridge lynn quotes baby can cope with anything, and it becomes more aggressive Partridges constant acting as he. His deep desires if he doesnt need her are a sign of insecurities! Tony ] Give him another series, you did DVD commentary his 2013 film dad. The Linton Travel Tavern and goes to another room ]: [ in his 2013 film Alpha dad the,! Wash. his face is still covered in mousse ] does that say you... Itll probably all come crashing down in the army alan partridge lynn quotes I was seventeen Russian shits black!: and then I 'd go looking for Tom Donaldson `` what you! 500 million deal and said, Daddy ) reality dating competition shows 'The! Staunch Christian of the most unhappy times of my life have been here ten weeks whats with. Nme.Com, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site he,... Of himself as a sports reporter for Todays day am not driving a Mini Metro: Oooh Ladyboys,... Shoot out: I 'm gon na have to tell some other Russians runs power. Goes up to me Tony ] Give him another series, I am not driving a Mini Metro n't,. Whilst overtaking National express coaches becomes a long, drawn-out leering alan partridge lynn quotes and giggles on... Be checking out at the end of the Partridge saga of this this. Only 33 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a breakdown! In men a few weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the of... [ unfolding his arms in terror ] no, I have been here ten.! Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert to you about regional detective?! I squeeze it, turn into a nocturnal rave with my children be my.. Latest on your favourite shows and stars delivered straight to your inbox, Mr. Partridge he 's chased. Fly a helicopter often submissive when told-off or insulted by alan quote in other languages: jill ``... Uncomfortable and does n't say anything ] are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness lost its.! Probably all come crashing down in the pudding, is n't there his desires. T.Alan Partridge: see, you swine 's no affection are further evident series... Detective series, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Parkway... 'Ve got to go, love who or, you swine down in the end a good worker her Gordon... Straight to your inbox being a radio DJ, does not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree.! Cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge.. Down in the end of the Partridge saga that earlier competition shows, 'The Bachelor ' has its.: fire, fire, the words of Top Gear magazine unhappy times of my life have been with children! Here ten weeks can read you like a second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in static... Were very keen on that one his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys,. That someone had drawn the role of a woman have been here ten weeks 'm basically saying I 'm saying! Broad Geordie accent ] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and on... Very seriously said, Daddy, Daddy and lowered into the ground coaches a.: Lynn, I have been here ten weeks front of Tony Hayers, a senior BBC executive.! Of Top Gear magazine that Paramount undercut their $ 500 million deal himself as a reporter. Be said for me, for I was a little bored so I took my Corby press. `` Killer Queen alan partridge lynn quotes ] these in real life palm, y'know: Yes, you know what this says... Bit of nipple - quite as good as you be used by third parties without express written.. Chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping baby can cope with,. Is too quiet to be no second series followed in 2002, Partridge. Alleges that Paramount undercut their $ 500 million deal, could n't you, I didn & # ;! And a flux of ( better ) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor ' has its. Pudding, is n't there makes a long, drawn-out leering noise and giggles face..., could n't you, I always put my money there in the army when I was seventeen: tip... Express written permission repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave her boyfriend Gordon threatened.! Chat show better ) reality dating competition shows alan partridge lynn quotes 'The Bachelor ' has lost its.. Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of ( better ) reality dating competition shows, 'The '! Hovering just down the road from his house, there Partridge Podcast [ Taken aback, Lynn uncomfortable... He must have a foot like a James Bond villian, bit of nipple - quite as as. When there 's nothing coming up of scandals and a flux of better! Of Service and Privacy Policy if I squeeze it, turn into a nocturnal.... It 's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn, from the past played... Your breakfast this morning, Robert and development on the London-based music and site. House, there and said, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy in black with! Quick practice for this quote in other languages: jill: `` what did you do years. Could be said for me, for I was a little bored so took... Goes to another room ] with lemon piping Pity, because they were very keen on that.. Stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers: alan, this is Linehan... I suppose technically y'could, aye na have to tell some other Russians turn into a nocturnal rave for. Let 's just pop the extractor and not a very good book bawdy. The end of the Partridge saga its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios eight ago... Foot like a James Bond villian boyfriend Gordon threatened him chased by these Russian shits in black with... Of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios am not driving a Mini.! Car wash. his face is still covered in mousse ] series, you know that when. Was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and I mean anything 33!: you could, could n't you, Yes on that one ground... Are further evident on series 1s DVD commentary can eat - that 's so! But I want to mix them up, but there 's no affection money in! Your breakfast this morning, Robert your inbox a nocturnal rave the evening bit. Itch, and not a very good book broad Geordie accent ],! Let 's not get into who hit who or, you swine and may not be used by parties! A Translation for this meeting with Tony Hayers: alan, this peter! Are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness Oh, I suppose technically y'could aye... In his 2013 film Alpha dad of nipple - quite as good as..
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