Next morning, after I had sucked down a thoughtful cup of tea, I wentinto Motty's room to investigate. And whatCorky said was that, while he didn't know what they did at the bottomof the jute business, instinct told him that it was something toobeastly for words. Naturally the poor chap's face dropped, for this seemed to dish thewhole thing. "Well, Bruce, my boy; so the portrait is really finished, is it--reallyfinished? Making along stay in America? "Did you say that Lord Pershorewent to prison voluntarily? She spoke as if she belonged to an anti-sausage society or a league forthe suppression of eggs. He is look-proof. The only difference was that she didn't uncover the teeth, as shehad done the first time. Mr. Worple himself suggested the solution of the difficulty. "Halloa, Bicky!" Thesympathetic co-operation of Jeeves seemed to me to be indicated. "Rollo is not used to you yet, sir," said Jeeves, regarding the ballyquadruped in an admiring sort of way. Then I made up my mind. "This ends it! "If I might make the suggestion, Mr. Corcoran--for a title of theseries which you have in mind--'The Adventures of Baby Blobbs.'". It wasn't till I had climbed through the top of my shirt andwas reaching out for the studs that I remembered. ", "You don't know him. He took it without blinking. Be sure to keep your eyes open andtake notes of your impressions! A chappie with a lot of stiff grey hair and a red sort ofhealthy face was standing there. I was bowledover. "Often of a spring morning," it said at the top of page twenty-one, "asyou wander through the fields, you will hear the sweet-toned,carelessly flowing warble of the purple finch linnet. Theonly time we get any excitement is when one of the choir-boys is caughtsucking chocolate during the sermon. ", "Why should not the young lady write a small volume, to be entitled--letus say--_The Children's Book of American Birds_, and dedicate itto Mr. Worple! Sometimes of a morning, as I've sat in bed sucking down the early cupof tea and watched my man Jeeves flitting about the room and puttingout the raiment for the day, I've wondered what the deuce I should doif the fellow ever took it into his head to leave me. Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look. He has got it up his nose! ", "Her ladyship is accompanied by a Lord Pershore, sir. ", "Oh, absolutely." I always used to think that publishers had to be devilish intelligentfellows, loaded down with the grey matter; but I've got their numbernow. x��]o�0�����&mn>!��� H�ƴ��^��liXt�~��4�Z��v�|a>�����ybv� All I could think of was the picture ofAunt Agatha drinking all this in and reaching out to sharpen thehatchet against my return. ", "My uncle's turning up to-morrow, Bertie. Leave It To Jeeves, Page 3: Read My Man Jeeves, by Author P. G. Wodehouse Page by Page, now. I know the man who runs the comic section of the_Sunday Star_. I cut Washington Square out absolutely for the next fewmonths. After that I work my way gradually across to the coast,visiting the points of interest on the journey. Or have youdined?". What can I do? Perfect piffle, I thought, of course. "I say, you know,that fellow of yours--Jeeves, you know--is a corker. I gave it the complete miss-in-baulk. At this juncture the door bell rang. He was trying toget his own back. "You're perfectly right!" Mr. Wooster will bear me out when I say that hislordship was frequently extremely depressed at the thought that he wasdoing so little to help.". Wonderchild led tillhe was breathing on the wire, and then Banana Fritter came along andnosed him out. I don't know why itis--one of these psychology sharps could explain it, I suppose--butuncles and aunts, as a class, are always dead against the drama,legitimate or otherwise. She made me feel as if I were ten years old andhad been brought into the drawing-room in my Sunday clothes to sayhow-d'you-do. Is there anything else you wouldlike? Read My Man Jeeves by author P. G. Wodehouse, FREE, online. I tied the tie, got into the coat and waistcoat, and went intothe sitting-room. You heard it all, didn't you? "And, ifmy principles would permit it, I would simmer down for your sake. Poor old Corky ran his fingers through his hair in a temperamental sortof way. It seemed to hurt Jeeves agood deal, so I chucked it. Absolutely becoming the good old shadow, I give you my honestword. I couldn't believe that this was the same blighter who had sat andsucked his stick the day before. Corky used to go to him about once every three months and lethim talk about American birds. ", "What do you mean--my peculiar scent? I was awfully sorry when he went away toBoston. Have you ever trodden on a rake and had the handle jump up and hit you?That's how I felt then. I wished I could have had a minute with him alone. "I'm getting a check suit like that oneof Mr. He swung towards the door, lashing his tailand growling to himself. It was a remarkably priceless effort, and muchadmired by the lads. My Man Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse My Man Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse Produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team MY MAN JEEVES BY P. G. WODEHOUSE 1919 CONTENTS LEAVE IT TO JEEVES JEEVES AND THE UNBIDDEN GUEST JEEVES AND THE HARD-BOILED EGG page 1 / 284 << /Type /Page /Parent 1 0 R /LastModified (D:20110324151242+00'00') /Resources 2 0 R /MediaBox [0.00 0.00 595.28 841.89] /CropBox [0.00 0.00 595.28 841.89] /BleedBox [0.00 0.00 595.28 841.89] /TrimBox [0.00 0.00 595.28 841.89] /ArtBox [0.00 0.00 595.28 841.89] /Contents 10 0 R /Rotate 0 /Group << /Type /Group /S /Transparency /CS /DeviceRGB >> /PZ 1 >> Page 3 of 13. "Awfully glad to see you," I said. Lady Malvern goggled at him. "He is an excellent watchdog. I threw my mind back to the red-faced chappie I had met at therestaurant, and tried to picture him cutting up rough. ", "I took the liberty of glancing at them before bringing them to you,sir. "Very good, sir. He is now Lord Bridgnorth. These things are just Life's mysteries, andthat's all there is to it. Makes it sobally discouraging for a great city. I dined at the club and looked in at a show afterward, and it wasn'ttill fairly late that I got back to the flat. I sat down and dallied in a dazed sort of way with a poached egg. Altogether by no means the sort of thing a chappie wouldwish to find in his sitting-room before breakfast. ", "I would suggest, sir, that Mr. Corcoran take advantage of Mr. Worple'sattachment to ornithology. My sympathy for the poor old scout wastoo deep for words. I'd forgotten how time had been slippingalong. I am putting out the brown suit, sir. 9 0 obj ", "About a month. "I am leaving New York by the midday train, as I have to pay a visit toSing-Sing prison. The place was rocking. Some of the finest examples of humorous writing found in English literature are woven around the relationship between these two … Carry on, Jeeves. A chappie hasto be a lot broader about the forehead than I am to handle a jolt likethis. Ipictured him sitting in his lonely studio with no company but hisbitter thoughts, and the pathos of it got me to such an extent that Ibounded straight into a taxi and told the driver to go all out for thestudio. I felt a trifle morecheerful, and I got my Country Gentleman hat and stuck it on my head,and gave the pink tie a twist, and reeled out to take a bite of lunchwith one or two of the lads at a neighbouring hostelry; and what withexcellent browsing and sluicing and cheery conversation and what-not,the afternoon passed quite happily. ", "I have nothing to complain of in that respect, sir. I am extremely interested in prison conditions inAmerica. Wodehouse and Publisher Dreamscape Media. And, what's more, I'mgoing to do it again! Of course, I know it's as bad as being henpecked; but then Jeeves isalways right. This sort of thing wasn't like him. I felt as if the clouds had rolled away andall was as it used to be. If Jeeves had been his rich uncle he couldn't havebeen more chummy. I know that you will look after him carefully, Mr. Wooster. I didn't so muchmind when he made me give up one of my new suits, because, Jeeves'sjudgment about suits is sound. My Man Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse Its easy to link to paragraphs in the Full Text Archive If this page contains some material that you want to link to but you don't want your visitors to have to scroll down the whole page just hover your mouse over the relevent paragraph and click the … "Lady Malvern wishes to see you, sir," said Jeeves. One of the rummythings about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you veryseldom see him come into a room. Jeeves floated out to answer it. Butduty first! The more I looked at it in that way, the sounder this prison wheezeseemed to me. She was rather like one of thoseinnocent-tasting American drinks which creep imperceptibly into yoursystem so that, before you know what you're doing, you're starting outto reform the world by force if necessary and pausing on your way totell the large man in the corner that, if he looks at you like that,you will knock his head off. She turned up one morning while I was still in bed sipping teaand thinking of this and that. Quiz: P. G. Wodehouse 20 Questions; Please submit a quiz here. But let me tell you this. Do you know, Jeeves,you're--well, you absolutely stand alone!". I met her at lunch one Sunday before I leftLondon. Even if he did like Muriel he wouldn't admit it.That's the sort of pig-headed guy he is. he muttered brokenly. And a day or two later he meandered up the Avenue to my apartment totell me that all was well. Produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franksand the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. Everybodywas awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things goingon, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine. As a matter of fact, I was back within the week. ", "He's a vegetarian, you know. ", "In that event, sir, it may be judicious to prevaricate a little. When I reached my apartment I heard Jeeves moving about in his lair. Apparently you could do what you likedwith old Worple if you gave him his head first on his pet subject, sothese little chats used to make Corky's allowance all right for thetime being. This is the first time I've been let out alone, and I meanto make the most of it. Jeeves is a tallish man, with one of those dark, shrewd faces. "If the Duke of Chiswick is his uncle," I said, "why hasn't he a title?Why isn't he Lord What-Not? She got up. He had slid from the shadows and was gazing gravely atthe picture. His face was set. ", "Absolutely! We have just time to see a few of the sights beforemy train goes. ", "Twice, sir. Thank you, sir.". His lordship took a prejudice against the animalon account of being bitten by him in the calf of the leg.". It's a long story, and I haven't time to tell you now, butthe point is that he wanted me to wear the Longacre--as worn by JohnDrew--when I had set my heart on the Country Gentleman--as worn byanother famous actor chappie--and the end of the matter was that, aftera rather painful scene, I bought the Country Gentleman. I felt that Iwanted to get into the open and think this thing out. We want you to suggest some wayby which Mr. Worple can make Miss Singer's acquaintance without gettingon to the fact that Mr. Corcoran already knows her. Tra-la! My private impression is that, without knowing it, I've workedthat stunt that Sargent and those fellows pull--painting the soul ofthe sitter. 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